This Is Why We Can Never Have Nice Things
by The-stuttering-kiwi
Summary: Sequel to "This is why we can't have nice things." and "This is why we still can't have nice things." I would write a summary but they never turn out to be what the story is about so, I am just going to let it go.
1. Chapter 1

**Would you mind if I killed you?**

**Would you mind if I tried to?**

**'Cause you have**

**Turned into my worst enemy**

**You carry hate that I don't feel**

**It's over now, what have you done?**

_**What have you done now?**_

**I, I've been waiting for someone like you**

**But now you are slipping away**

_**What have you done now?**_

**Why, why does fate make us suffer?**

**There's a curse between us, between me and you**

_**Within Temptation - What Have You Done**_

* * *

><p>"Bring in the prisoner." Odin's command rang throughout the hall and made Sigrun's body tremble. Thor grasped her hand and squeezed quickly; he was gone before the tinkling of chains reached her ears.<p>

_Loki._

_The prisoner._

Her eyes caught the sight of Loki's long shadow before he turned the corner, briefly thought of following after her brother, and fixed her gaze on a spot on the marble floor.

It looked like a face.

It looked like it was laughing at her.

She felt irrationally guilty, it gnawed at her insides. She felt sick.

Feet stopped mere inches from her, but she didn't dare look up. How could she look at him?

"Loki." Frigga called to her son.

"Hello mother." Sigrun saw Loki's feet turn as he faced his mother, "Have I made you proud?"

"Please don't make this worse."

"How could this get any worse?" His voice sarcastic.

"Enough." Odin commanded, "I will speak to him alone."

Sigrun heard Frigga sweep from the room, and wondered if she should follow, but she felt rather cemented to the spot where she stood; staring at the laughing face.

She felt Loki's eyes on her, and her skin felt on fire as she felt the color rise in her cheeks. Her eyes found a particularly large speck of dust and followed its movements in the air.

Loki's feet turned back, and took a few steps to the throne where Odin sat, he stood very still for a moment, and a chuckle broke from his lips.

"I really don't see what all the fuss is about."

"You really don't see the severity of your crimes? Where ever you go there is war, ruin, and death."

"I went down to Midgard to rule as a benevolent god, just like you."

"We are not gods. We are born, we live, we die, just as humans do."

"Give or take five thousand years." Loki's voice was light.

"And all this, because Loki desires a crown."

"It is my birthright." Loki's voice became icy.

"You're birthright, was to die!" Odin yelled, spit flying from his mouth. Sigrun jumped, nearly out of her skin, and slowly raised her eyes. "As a child, cast out onto a frozen rock. If I had not taken you in, you would not be here now to hate me."

"If I am for the ax then, for Mercy's sake, just swing it. It's not that I don't love our little talks it's just…I don't love them." Loki finished quietly.

Odin stared hard at his son. It seemed he was trying to make a decision. What to do with the crazed god?

"Sigrun and Frigga are the only reason you are still alive. And you will never see them again." Loki staggered backward, as if he had been struck. "You will live out the rest of your days in the dungeons." A sob mixed a scream wrenched itself from Sigrun's lungs, she had to cover her mouth to stifle the sounds.

"What of Thor?" Loki sounded breathless,"You will make that witless oaf king while I rot in chains."

"Thor must undo the damage you have done. He will bring order to the nine realms and then yes, he will be king."

Loki took a few small steps backward.

"Take him away." Odin slumped back in the throne looking drained.

"No, no, no, no, no." Sigrun started forward toward Loki but was stopped when several pairs of strong hands held her back. Her struggles made no difference. Loki was tethered where he stood, and leaned against his chains toward her.

"Let her go." Odin's words were quiet.

The guards released her immediately. Sigrun stumbled toward Loki and fell into him.

Goosebumps sprang up on her skin when he pressed his lips against her hair.

"I'm so sorry." The words were muffled against his chest, and she breathed him in.

"Don't worry, little one, I will be quite comfortable." He replied lightly.

"I'm sorry." She repeated. Even though she knew she shouldn't be. Even though she knew this was less than he you. You did what you needed to do."

"I told you I wouldn't hold it against you. You did what you needed to do."

The guilt gnawed painfully. Sigrun just shook her head.

She felt a cool finger under her chin, tilt her head up.

"I love you, beautiful one." His voice so quiet she almost didn't hear him.

"I love you too, of course, I do." Her voice hitched as the words caught in her throat. How could she even say them?

Loki bent his face down to hers and slowly pressed his lips against hers. Sigruns cells tingled.

"Enough." Odin's voice reminded them, they were not alone, and Sigrun was hyper aware of the many pairs of eyes on them.

The guards holding onto Loki's tethers began to pull him away.

"No." Sigrun's hands reached out to grab on to him, to keep him close. Once again strong hands held her back, but only one pair this time.

"It's okay little sister." Thor's voice came from behind her. Sigrun's arms dropped and hung limply at her sides. They watched as Loki turned the corner and waited until the sound of chains was no more.


	2. Chapter 2

**I remember you that night**

**Standing in the rain**

**Your black stare**

**Your black eyes**

**I remember what you said**

**Before I turned away**

**My heart died**

**Your sweetest lies**

**And if I saw you bleed**

**I'd stay here till the end**

**But you can't change for me**

**And I, know you'll never understand me**

**No matter how hard we try**

**And I, know I'll never understand you**

**And your mechanical love**

_**In This Moment- Mechanical Love**_

* * *

><p>"With the Bifrost now rebuilt, Thor, you can travel across the realms and work to restore peace." Odin's eyes were upon his son who stood before him.<p>

"Yes father." Thor's voice was strong.

Sigrun's eyes felt heavy, threatening to unleash a torrent of tears.

How can they send Thor off right away? Didn't they know she needed him?

"Can't they fix themselves?" She mumbled, and then glanced around, feeling grateful that no one had heard her.

"Well then," Odin stood slowly, "Before we send these great warriors off into battle, let's feast in their honor, and perhaps, an early celebration of their victories!" The room erupted into cheers; Sigrun hoped her effort at a smile showed on her face. Although, she was sure it looked like a painful grimace.

The crowd flowed into the feast hall, the noise of chatter following them until the sound of doors closing was the last echo in the air. Sigrun's shoulders slumped, but she was happy to finally be alone.

Or, she thought she was alone.

"You shouldn't be so defeated." Her father's voice came from behind her.

"I hope he will be back quickly." She meant it. Turning her head to see where her parents stood, looking at her worriedly.

"He will have a long road ahead of him cleaning up Loki's mess." Odin shook his head, Frigga stiffened at the mention of the L-Word (as Thor had jokingly put it at one time).

Sigrun chose to say nothing. Odin shifted uncomfortably as the tension mounted. Something was coming. She could feel it.

"Your mother and I were thinking, that it's time we started thinking about plans for you."

"Oh?" Her eyes narrowed as she glared from her father to her mother, who turned to her husband.

"I told you it was too soon." She scolded.

"It is not. We knew from the beginning that she and Loki," Sigrun bristled at the L-word, "Would not have a future together, his actions only confirmed that."

"You mean landing him in the dungeons for the next few thousand years?" She interrupted.

"He needed to be held accountable. If he had any consideration for you at all he would not be there."

Ouch, there it was.

"So we would just be having a slightly different conversation then? One where, you would not give your consent and we would be separated?"

"He was never what we wanted for you."

"It's incredible, that you believe you did everything right by him and that he needs to be held accountable and then you tell me this. And you wonder why things happened as they did!" Sigrun's voice rising in octaves with each word.

"Sigrun…" Frigga warned.

"No! I will be the first to admit that what Loki did was wrong and inexcusable, that spending the rest of his time in the dungeons is less than what he deserves. But, the fact that he," she pointed a finger at Odin, "dangled all these things in front of him with always the intention of pulling them away as soon as he had a hold of them!"

"Enough!" Odin bellowed.

Sigrun opened her mouth to argue again, but thought better of it. The air was thick with tension.

Odin breathed heavily in and out his nose, his eyes bulging slightly.

"Sigrun, we only want what is best for you. If, it had come to it we would not have separated you." Frigga looked at her husband. "But, things have changed and this is where we are now."

She knew in her gut what was coming.

"There are plenty of strong warriors what would make a fine match for you." Frigga said gently.

"No."

"Sigrun, be reasonable. You can't be in mourning for the rest of your life."

"No."

"Then the decision will be made for you." Odin was firm.

"At least think about it." Frigga urged.

"I am hungry." Sigrun lied, turned on her heel and stormed from the hall.

* * *

><p>The noise from the feast hit her like a stone wall as she sat down at her seat at the high table. She pulled a piece of meat onto her plate and spooned some vegetables next to it. She didn't want any of it, and simply moved it around with her fork bitterly.<p>

"Not joining in the festivities?" Thor threw himself into the seat next to her.

"Not exactly feeling "festive"" she tore a piece of meat off the bone and tossed it into her mouth, it was tasteless.

"They have a point you know."

"Oh, so you knew I was going to be cornered?" She glared.

"Hey," he held his hands up, " It's not wrong to agree with them. And it's not fair for you to be the one left staggering about."

Sigrun squeezed her eyes shut, and shook her head. She opened them and glared down at the peas on her plate. Maybe, maybe they had a point. If Loki had thought about her for a second he would be sitting next to her, planning what would be the best trick to send feast goers screaming. But here she was, sitting pathetically glaring at a vegetable that had done nothing to her, while Loki sat in solitude.

"They want me to do it now, like they expect me to just forget him." She murmured.

"It wouldn't hurt to get your mind out there. At least show them you took it to heart, maybe if they see your are trying they will let it go for now."

Sigrun nodded.

"What am I going to do while you are gone?" She wondered aloud, not sure of who she meant.

"You will be fine, besides I am the great and mighty Thor after all. I should be gone only an hour or two." He said playfully.

Sigrun cracked a smile.

"Yeah, sure." She giggled.

Thor let out a loud laugh that caused the person sitting next to him to jump, and reached an arm around Sigrun.

"See, now that's the little sister I know and love." He squeezed her tightly.

* * *

><p>Hours later Sigrun lay in her bed unable to sleep. A mixture of nervousness for Thor departing in the morning, and her parents words left her tossing and turning.<p>

How could she think about moving on? It wasn't like Loki was dead. He was just…

Locked in a dungeon for the rest of his life?

So as good as dead.

She couldn't even visit him.

Frustrated she got out of bed and went to sit at her desk. Piles of books cluttered the work surface.

Eyeing the cover of the book she had taken from his room ages ago, when she had believed him to be dead, a thought jumped around her head.

She couldn't visit, but what if they would allow her to take him things. Picking up the book, she turned it over in her hand and touched the marker hanging out showing where it had last been read.

Maybe she could bring it and a few others to the cells. The worst that would happen is they would laugh and turn her away.

Firm in her decision she gathered The Odyssey (so he could finish it), a few other books on Midgarden mythology and a couple Asgardian favorites into a book sack. She threw on a cover over her sleeping clothes and made for the dungeons.

* * *

><p>Sigrun trembled as she took her steps down to the entrance of the dungeons Two guards stood at its entrance. She swallowed hard as she got closer and froze when they crossed spears and stood their ground.<p>

"I am sorry my lady, but you cannot not pass." The one guard spoke up.

"I…I know." She stammered, "I was thinking…hoping you would be able to give this to one of the prisoners." She held the heavy bag out to them.

The guards exchanged glances.

"We have orders from the King, I am sorry." The guard looked it.

"She can put them with my things can she not?" Frigga's voice came from behind her.

"My queen, we shouldn't even be letting you get things by."

"Oh, I know, but you can put her items with mine, and I will handle KingOdin." Frigga said sweetly. The pair nodded in agreement and took the bags from each Frigga and Sigrun and watched them as they turned to leave.

* * *

><p>"What did you bring him?" Frigga asked breaking the silence.<p>

"Books, some of our favorites and one he wasn't able to finish." Sigrun guessed she wasn't in trouble.

Her mother smiled, "Well I guess he will have a lot of reading to do, as I brought him some as well."

"I wish I could see him. See how he is."

"Why can't you?"

What did she mean, "Why can't you?"?

"Because he is forbidden, and so are we." Sigrun replyed, trying not to sound sarcastic.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean we don't have other tricks up our sleeves." Frigga said slyly, and left a stunned Sigrun to ponder what she meant.

* * *

><p><strong>I see y'all reading my chapters, what about a few reviews to keep a girl going? Thanks for reading!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**All I have is one last chance**

**I won't turn my back on you**

**Take my hand, drag me down**

**If you fall then I will too**

**And I can't save what's left of you**

_**Breaking Benjamin- Without You**_

* * *

><p>Sigrun couldn't believe how stupid she had been.<p>

Of course, she could see Loki.

Of course she could.

Had she not used her magic to find Loki on Midgard? Why not use it to visit him in the dungeons?

As suddenly as her heart rose with the possibility, it sunk like a stone. What if the guards saw her? They would surely go straight to Odin, and then there would be trouble. Biting her lip she thought about what her father would do if he found out, short of putting up wards around Loki's cell she could handle it.

Deciding it was worth the risk she marched directly to her chambers, closed the door behind her, closed her eyes, and began to focus.

* * *

><p>She opened her eyes and found herself in a sparsely decorated room; a simple bed was against the wall opposite, along with a spindly legged desk (already precariously piled high with books and papers) and chair. Sigrun briefly wondered how Frigga had gotten all of these things to the cell when the flutter of a page to her right made her turn. Her eyes found Loki sitting cross-legged on the floor; book in hand, with the rest of the books she had brought spilling out of the sack on the floor beside him.<p>

"Hi." She said meekly. Then immediately cursed herself, "Hi?" Really?

"I was wondering when you would remember." His eyes didn't move from the text.

"It did take longer than it should have." She admitted sheepishly.

A snort of laughter (was it laughter?) was the only reply she got as an awkward silence settled over them. With each flutter of a page she grew increasingly uneasy.

Finally, he snapped his book shut and placed it on the pile to his right.

"You aren't happy I am here?" She finally broke the silence.

"Of course I am."

"Then what?"

"I don't see the point. If I reach out and try to touch you…you will disappear." He shook his head sadly, "It's just hard is all. Of course, I'm happy."

"I wanted to see you."

"It's a waste of time, Sigrun." He sighed, moving in a quick fluid motion he stood, stretching a little.

"I don't see how it's a waste of time." She said stubbornly.

"It's a waste of your time; you should be living your life."

"What?"

"Sigrun, I am never going to get out of here as long as Odin and Thor have their way. I am locked up, for the next couple thousand years, there is no reason why you should be too."

"That's very noble of you." She scoffed.

"It's the truth."

Sigrun chewed on her lip, debating if she should tell him he wasn't the only one with this brilliant idea. She could see where her parents and Thor were coming from, but this was ridiculous.

"And what about us?"

"You know very well there hasn't been an "us" in a long time."

"And thanks to you for that!" Sigrun felt her temper soaring. "You never even thought about me for a moment when you got Thor banished and brought the Frost Giants here, and even less when you tried to take Midgard as your own. I don't appreciate everyone making my decisions for me! You know Odin and Frigga want me to move along too? They even offered to find me a suitor if I can't find someone myself." She thought her chest was going to explode as her rage roared inside her.

"Are you looking?" Loki asked. The words seemed painful.

"No, but maybe I should!"

"Don't…please." Loki crossed over to where she stood, and stopped short just before wrapping her arms around her, remembering she wasn't really there.

She could have sworn she felt his breath on her skin, she would have if they were actually together.

"Why not? Everyone else seems to think it's a good idea, you seem to think it's a good idea."

"You never did anything to deserve what you are going through, I thought if you found something…someone you would be okay."

"And how would I be okay?"

"I don't know," he admitted, "I just hoped you would be."

"I just miss you." She felt herself deflating.

"And I miss you."

"I don't know what to do. It was easier when I thought you were dead, I'm not sure how to go on about my life when you are right here." Sigrun wanted to press herself against his body, to have some kind of comfort that she hadn't had in what seemed like forever.

"I've seen you work out worse situations." He had a sad smile on his face.

_You mean when I went against you on Earth_, she thought, but she was too exhausted to argue anymore.

"Its getting late." Loki observed.

"I love you." She felt herself pulling away.

"And I love you too beautiful one." His voice was distant, and Loki began to fade.

* * *

><p>"Of course, I don't have to tell you not to do anything stupid." Sigrun walked beside Thor and Company to the Bifrost. It was early, but it was time for them to head off for their first, in a long line of battles to restore what Loki had thrown into chaos.<p>

Thor gave a hearty laugh, "You have nothing to worry about."

"Of course she doesn't! Not with us to do the heavy work!" Volstag called from behind them.

"His ego usually gets in the way anyway." Sif joked beside him.

A great number of Asgard's warriors marched behind them while their families lined the streets to send them off. The air was thick with excitement, even though many of them wouldn't return.

"I hope you are worrying about me too, Sigrun." Fandral's voice came from her left. She cast him a sidelong glance.

"What about whats-her-name... Freya? Won't see be up all hours just wondering where you are?" Sigrun's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh, I've decided to be looking for someone with more substance."

"Oh, please don't tell me you are thinking of settling down? I don't think the women of Asgard could handle it." She rolled her eyes so hard it made her head hurt.

"That maybe," Fandral agreed, somehow missing the sarcasm, "But that doesn't change the fact that I am looking for something more."

There was something in the way he looked at her that made her uneasy. Fandral was always a playboy, always bouncing from one bed to the next. The idea of him settling down was laughable.

"Sure, whatever you say." As she watched him fall back to walk beside Volstag.

"You should be nicer to him, he isn't a bad man." Thor glanced down at Sigrun.

"I'm sure he will get over it."

The warriors filed into the Bifrost observatory, Sigrun knew she had to leave but she felt panicked with Thor leaving.

"Ill come back if I can, to visit you know." He said pulling her into a bear-like hug.

"I know." She felt her eyes stinging and her throat constricting. How can everyone be leaving her?

Thor released her and Sigrun reluctantly stepped back and made her way back onto the bridge. Fandral caught her eye and bowed deeply. Sigrun hastily bowed back and ran out into the chilly morning air, just before Heimdal opened the Bifrost and the crowd inside vanished.

* * *

><p>"Your brother will be back in no time. He is a skilled warrior, he will make short work of the task ahead." Odin called down the table where Sigrun was pushing her food around her plate. The sight of it made her sick.<p>

She grunted a reply.

"I saw you speaking to Fandral in the procession." He continued, and Sigrun saw Frigga shoot him a glare that went unnoticed. "He is one of the best and would make a fine match for you."

"May I be excused?" Sigrun pushed her uneaten food away from her.

"Yes, of course." Her mother continued to glare at Odin. Sigrun stood and walked to the doorway

"If I were you, I would give this more consideration Sigrun." Her father's warning followed her to the door.

She stopped short and considered telling her exactly what she thought of Fandral and this whole situation but thought better of it, and stormed from the feast hall.


	4. Chapter 4

_**I hope everyone had a good holiday! Here is a pretty long chapter that I have been working on for a bit. How about some reviews to keep a girl going? Thanks for reading!**_

* * *

><p><strong>Say something, I'm giving up on you<strong>

**I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you**

**Anywhere, I would've followed you**

**Say something, I'm giving up on you**

_**A Great Big World- "Say Something"**_

* * *

><p>Weeks had passed and Loki was growing more and more distant. Their meetings would end with sweet words; now Sigrun was lucky to get a glance and a grunt in her general direction.<p>

She couldn't blame him though, not really. She would be angry and bitter too, being locked in a small cell with only that continued existence in your future. So, despite his attitude she continued to be bright and bubbly.

"I got some new books for us to read." Sigrun said brightly one morning, speaking to Loki's back. "The librarian has been able to get to Midgard now to bring in a fresh supply, and I thought these looked pretty interesting." She gestured to the sack of books that had been tossed roughly on his bed. A few had spilled onto the floor and she saw the cover of the first book in the series; a boy on a broom trying to catch a ball with wings.

Sigrun chuckled to herself, the imaginations those Midgardians have.

"What did you think of them, Loki?" She asked knowing full well he hadn't even glanced at them.

"Loki?"

No reply. She felt her temper rising.

Movement from the other side of the glass caught her attention. Guards were filing through the hallway, and following closely behind were several prisoners.

"I see Thor has sent me some few friends." Loki's voice startled her, "How very thoughtful, you will have to thank him for me." He said bitterly, finally turning to face her for the first time this visit.

Sigrun chewed on her tongue, fighting the urge to retort with a snappy comment.

"How do you handle it?" He asked casting her a sidelong glance.

"Handle what?"

"The annoyance of Thor and Odin asking after me day and night. It must get very tiresome after a while." He sauntered over to the books on the bed and picked one up, sneered at the cover, and tossed it back down.

"Are you trying to pick a fight?" Sigrun asked stiffly. "They did what they needed to do."

"Ah yes, and their minds are clear then."

"Loki…"

"You should go; it seems I have to make some introductions." He turned back to watch the procession continue into the dungeons.

"Fine." Sigrun snapped, quickly her magic dropped and she found herself relieved to be back in her chambers.

* * *

><p>"Thor! Are you finally finished?" Sigrun crashed into her brother squeezing him tightly and squealed when he picked her up and swung her around as though she weighed nothing.<p>

"Yes! Finally!"He said, setting her down onto solid ground.

"This took a lot longer than your couple hours huh?" She joked.

"Sigrun! Why don't I get that kind of greeting?" Fandral's voice carried over to her from across the hall.

Sigrun's heart leaped in spite of herself. After cornering her during a few visits to rest between battles, he was beginning to grow on her; even if she didn't want to admit it.

She turned to see him walk over to her.

"I see you've made it unscathed." She said, looking him up and down.

"Please, this has been child's play; even Thor had an easy time of it." He laughed the sound made Sigrun's stomach tremble; then a grunt of pain when Thor punched him in the arm.

Volstagg came and threw an arm around both of his friends. "Come, let's get ready for the feast tonight, I haven't had a decent bite of food in months."

"Like you need to eat anymore." Fandral joked. And Sigrun couldn't help but laugh herself as Volstagg staggered backward in mock pain.

"Ouch." He lamented.

The group began to disperse.

"I'll see you at the feast tonight?" Fandral asked.

"I don't think Mother and Father would let me miss it." Sigrun thought about skipping the whole event but a part of her actually did want to go.

"Until then." Fandral bowed, took Sigrun's hand and kissed it. Causing warmth to spread throughout her body, and a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time.

* * *

><p>"You and Fandral seem to be getting along." Thor observed, hours later. Sigrun was putting the finishing touches on her hair for the feast. She heard the creak of protest from her bed when Thor sat down on it.<p>

She had a swift feeling of déjà vu.

"He isn't so bad I guess." Glancing at his reflection in the mirror.

"So…I guess…that means you are taking what Mother and Father said to heart then?" He asked slowly.

She dropped her arms to her sides. "I'm not sure."

"I know you visit him…I don't even know why you do. I know mother does as well." Thor shook his head. "He's not that Loki anymore."

"I know that."

"Then what?"

"It's just hard. I don't know why I'm holding on so hard. He hardly even speaks to me anymore, and when he does he is just looking for a fight." Turing to look at her brother, she crossed her arms and leaned back against the vanity.

"Fandral would be good for you."

"He's been around you know." She wrinkled her nose.

"That's true," he agreed laughing lightly, "but he is a good man, and he is truly looking to settle."

"I think I do like him." Admitting it out loud made her heart drop slightly.

Thor motioned for Sigrun to sit next to him.

"You know, you weren't the only one Father cornered." He said as she settled next to him.

"Oh?"

"He thinks I should forget about Jane, and focus on what is here in front of me."

"You mean Sif?"

Thor nodded, "She is a great warrior and a trusted friend, but…"

"She is not Jane."

"No. No she's not."

Thor looked down at his hands, and Sigrun could feel the waves of sadness rolling off of him. Studying his face she saw soft lines beginning to form. He was too young for those kinds of lines.

"Your hair is getting long." She observed softly, reaching to touch the gold strands.

His wide smile made the lines more pronounced.

"You know if anyone told me we'd be spending this much time together I'd think they were crazy." She said brightly.

"We've grown up a lot."

Sigrun nodded, "It's the only good thing to come from any of this."

* * *

><p>The feast hall was full of the clatter of cutlery, and the chatter of a hundred voices. More sounds of celebration rose from the city below; Asgard was rejoicing.<p>

Even Sigrun had to admit she was having a good time. Food had become appealing again, and she was enjoying an exquisite berry cake with a thick frosting.

"And then Thor, and I swear it, threw his hammer, it smacked their greatest warrior right upside the head, the thing just disintegrated!" Volstagg was telling a rousing war story to her right.

"Yes, yes, and the whole army just dropped their weapons and surrendered. Really, Thor has done more impressive things." Sif interrupted. Their audience laughed and clapped.

Sigrun laughed as Volstagg started to tell another story he was sure no one had heard before when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and warm breath on her neck.

"Will you take a walk with me?" Fandral whispered in her ear.

A shiver traveled up her spine, and she was conscious of several pair of eyes on her.

Nodding slowly, she pushed her chair back and stood.

The cool night air felt refreshing after being in a room with so many warm bodies, and a quiet of the palace gardens was calming.

Or it would have been if Sigrun's heart wasn't beating like a trapped animal.

Fandral held his arm out to her, and she laced hers through the crook of his elbow.

"It's beautiful out here."Fandral said nervously.

"Yeah, this is one of my favorite places." She was amused that he was nervous, considering his history, "I used to walk out here all the time with…." She trailed off and realizing she probably shouldn't bring up Loki.

"Right."

They walked in awkward silence for a bit, the scent from the flowers and herbs was making Sigrun sleepy.

"Okay, so I might as well get this out there." Fandral finally broke the silence; he led her to a bench where they sat.

"I think we've been getting along pretty well lately." He turned toward her, his voice still sounding nervous.

"I think so." Sigrun realized she was getting just as nervous.

"I was wondering where this is going." The words came out in a rush.

_Where was what going?_

"I'm not sure…."

"Look, Sigrun, I like you a lot, and I know this is the last thing you expected. I just need to know what you are thinking."

Her mind raced. He was right; this was the last thing she had ever expected. This is not where she expected her life to go. With her best friend and soul mate locked in the dungeons for the next couple thousand years for trying to enslave an entire realm. She never expected to be with anyone else.

Nope. This is not what she expected.

But Fandral was okay, she thought. He made her laugh and was kind enough, but she didn't think he would understand her like Loki did, and she wondered if they could ever share a long deep conversation. She did like him, but would it go anywhere else?

"Sigrun?"

Realizing she had been focused on a vibrant blue flower in the distance, Fandral brought her back to the present.

"Sorry." She apologized.

"Well?"

"I…I do like you, a bit actually. But you are right; this isn't what I ever expected."

"This isn't going to happen overnight, I know that, what you had with….you know…was something incredible, although…" He seemed on the cusp of a rant but thought better of it, "I would be honored if you gave me a chance."

Light from the surrounding windows gleamed off Fandral's blonde hair, and his handsome face looked hopeful.

"It might take a bit." She warned.

"Worth it."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that."

"I would."

Sigrun laughed and shook her head.

"I'd hate to be a disappointment."

"You couldn't ever be a disappointment." His voice was very serious, Sigrun became hyper aware of how close Fandrals face was to hers.

She could feel his warm breath on her face.

Dangerously close.

"There you two are!" Thor's voice rang through the garden, and Fandral immediately pulled back much to Sigruns relief, who jumped up.

"We are going to the tavern; would you two like to join us?" Thor gestured to the entourage behind him.

"I'll go! Sigrun?" Fandral turned to Sigrun, who was backing up slowly.

"No, I have something I have to do."

"Sigrun, come on, it can wait til morning." Thor looked at her knowingly.

"No. It can't."

Shaking his head, Thor turned and walked back up the path.

"May I see you in the morning?" Fandral asked hopefully.

"I'm sure you won't be getting around until a while after morning."

He laughed, "You are right."

"But, yes. Why not?"

Fandral grasped her hand and kissed it.

"Til tomorrow then."

* * *

><p>Sigrun was walking to her chambers when she heard sniffling coming from a room to her right. Peeking inside she saw her mother.<p>

She slipped inside the door.

"What's wrong?" She asked, and Frigga swung around. Her eyes red and cheeks tear stained; she offered Sigrun a watery smile.

"Oh nothing, nothing."

"Tell me."

Her smile faltered.

"I just thought I would visit him."

"Loki?"

She nodded "He said I wasn't his mother." Frigga said sadly.

"He what?!" Sigrun felt her stomach clench angrily.

Shaking her head, "He is just angry."

"That is no excuse. You're the only mother he has."

"I don't think he really meant it."

"Whether he meant it or not, he is an idiot. And I am going to tell him so." Sigrun started to back out of the room.

"I wouldn't visit him tonight," Frigga's warning made Sigrun pause at the door, "he is in rare form."

Sigrun didn't listen.

* * *

><p>"Where exactly do you get off telling Frigga she isn't your mother?" Sigrun demanded once she had taken shape in Loki's cell.<p>

"She's not." His reply was simple; he didn't even turn his head to look at her as he laid lazily on the bed.

"She's the only mother you've got, and one of the only ones on your side."

Laughter, "Please, Sigrun, no one is on my side."

"Excuse you?"

"Oh come on, don't even pretend that you are on my side. That may help you sleep at night but it certainly doesn't help me any."

Sigrun let out a burst of laughter, "Oh! And there you were saying you would never hold it against me."

"How was I not going to hold it against you?" He demanded, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, and stood. "You were against me from the beginning, siding with Thor, with Odin, with everyone!"

"You were in the wrong Loki."

"I was not!" He screeched, "I deserved the throne, I deserved to rule that pathetic excuse of a realm, and you took it all away from me. No better than the rest of them!"

Sigrun felt as though she had been slapped.

"I did what I had to do." She said meekly.

"What you had to do, was stand with me, if you loved me as much as you claimed. Well, here it is Sigrun, you betrayed me, and here I sit."

"That isn't my fault."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." He spat

"I don't need to be here you know."

"Then by all means go, and for the love of everything stop visiting, because believe me you aren't doing me any favors."

"You-"

"God Sigrun, take a hint! I don't want you here, nor do I need you here. Do you really think I enjoy seeing you? It's like a slap in the face every time."

Tears threatened to spill, but she refused to give him the satisfaction.

"Fandral has been wanting to get together, maybe I should take him up on that." She hoped to see Loki flinch, but his eyes were betrayed nothing.

"Please do."

"You don't mean that."

"The hell I don't."

"Loki-"

"How could I ever care about what you do or who you do it with? God, every second I am in here I actively _hate_," he snarled the word, "you. You did this to me. Now, get OUT!"

Sigrun watched as Loki swung his arm out to hit at her projection, and felt it connect as though she had actually been stuck. She stood in her room in shock.

Which soon turned into determination.

* * *

><p>Fine.<p>

If this is how he wanted to play it, fine.

Sigrun had no idea how she got to the tavern, but her feet seemed to know the way. The pungent smell of ale assaulted her senses as she walked through the door. Her eyes searched the crowd.

"Sigrun! You decided to come after all!" Thor thundered over the noise, she found where he stood smiling, arms outstretched; right next to who she was looking for.

"I didn't think you'd come down." Fandral said when she had reached his side.

"Can you come with me?"

He seemed surprised, "Um…sure where?"

"I don't care."

"My house isn't too far from here."

"Fine." She grabbed his arm and pulled him from the smell and the noise into the early morning air.

"In a hurry?" Taking the lead, Fandral led her down a small lane and stopped in front of a small, but modest stone home.

"Sigrun?"

"Can we go inside?"

Unlocking the door wordlessly, he led her inside. Once the door clicked closed, Sigrun, her heart beating so loud she could have sworn all of Asgard could feel the vibrations, turned and faced Fandral.

_This is how he wanted to play it._

Without thinking, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips on his. Without missing a beat he kissed her back, becoming frenzied. Sigrun froze for a brief second when a strange tongue invaded her mouth.

A moan escaped Fandral's mouth as he picked Sigrun up and carried her to his bedroom.

He slipped her dress off with expert ease; goose bumps sprang up on her skin while she fumbled with buttons, and finally just tugged the shirt over his head. It vaguely registered how warm his skin was as he pressed his body against hers, pushing her onto the bed.

"Are you sure about this?" Fandral hovered above her.

Sigrun answered by covering his mouth with hers and hooked her legs around his hips pulling him down.

Fandral set to work on her body, covering all the places Loki had savored.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to Badwolfbabe for the amazing reviews (which give me strength), and the endless texts she gets from me while I think out loud. You should all go read her stuff, 10/10 would recommend. Reviews, please?**

* * *

><p><strong>I am my mother's only one<strong>

**It's enough**

**I wear my garment so it shows**

**Now you know**

**Only love is all maroon**

**Gluey feathers on a flume**

**Sky is womb and she's the moon**

**I am my mother on the wall**

**With us all**

**I move in water, shore to shore**

**Nothing's more**

_**Bon Iver - Flume**_

* * *

><p>Sigrun was sweltering underneath the covers and thought that she couldn't have felt worse. She remembered the times when Loki would hold her, his cool skin taking the edge off the heat they had built up, drawing small circles on her back, while the spot between her legs ached sweetly.<p>

Now it ached accusingly, and Fandral was flipped over onto his stomach snoring loudly; it set her teeth on edge.

She needed to get out of there… now. Sliding out from the covers she bent and grabbed her dress which lay crumpled on the floor and tip toed to the door while slipping it over her head. And without glancing back at the sleeping man in the bed she fled to the morning air.

Her organs felt like they had been lined with lead, as her feet carried her to some destination she hadn't yet thought of. All she could think about was how quickly she had crawled into another man's bed.

What a mess.

It hadn't been bad, she admitted reluctantly. Fandral was considerate to her…needs. But it had lacked substance and the emotion of a real connection. And that was hard to get around.

_But you haven't even given him a chance. _A small voice in her head piped up.

It was true she did like him, but she always had her guard up around him, and tried not to let it go too far, which, she chuckled, it already had. The guilt began gnawing at her insides again but it wasn't guilt for Loki's sake this time. She had led Fandral on, and what he could possibly have thought would have come from their tumble between the sheets Sigrun was sure would never happen. She was sure his pride would be hurt, because out of the many women he had taken to bed, she would have bet Loki's freedom that she was the only one to slither out of bed at daybreak. He would move on, she convinced herself, find another doe eyed blonde and have tiny little doe eyed blonde children.

Another emotion began to gnaw lightly.

"Sigrun? What are you doing up this early?" Odin was sitting on a bench in the far back corner of the palace garden, where the dull Midgardian flowers bloomed. Frigga never cared for them much, but Odin had insisted.

Pulling herself from her thoughts, Sigrun realized she had wondered mindlessly into the gardens and was a bit weary of her adopted father.

"Couldn't sleep." She replied stiffly.

Odin patted the spot next to him, hesitating for a moment she sat down next to him, the silence was a little uneasy.

"Your mother always loved these flowers." He said.

Sigrun laughed a bit louder than she should have, "Frigga always hated them; she never took us back here if she could avoid it."

"I know Frigga didn't like them, I meant your mother."

Sigrun seized up, they had never talked about her real parents. When she was younger she had asked often but neither Frigga nor Odin acknowledged her questions.

"She…She liked Midgardian flowers?" She eyed the red petals on the closest flower.

"Oh yes," Reaching out a hand Odin touched a flower attached to a larger shrub with more gentleness she never thought his big hands had. "This one especially, _Lysimachia minoricensi_, was her favorite, although a bit far from her home, she had seen it on one of her travels. It's not found in the wild anymore." He seemed sad.

"You mean when she visited Earth like we do?"

"No…"

"What then?"

"Your mother was beautiful; I can't remember what the earth year was when I visited. I think it was a long time, to them anyway, after the frost giants attacked. I had gone back to see how they had been thriving. And they had! The village had been destroyed and only a few of the Midgardian's had survived, but when I returned the village had grown enormously, and people beyond count. But I saw her. How foolish was a king of Asgard to have noticed a common mortal?"

Sigrun felt her mouth hanging open. She was Odin's child, not adopted at all.

Odin took a deep breath and continued.

"Oh did I notice. It was like a fire had grown inside of my chest. It was fierce. I _needed_ her. I stayed away from Asgard for a long while; I had no desire to go back. I felt intensely guilty. Frigga was here raising Thor and by then Loki and I had left her to run a realm. She is a great queen," Odin shook his head, "I took her for granted, I know that now, but at the time I did not care. I had her, my Runa, and I did not care."

"What happened to her?" If Sigrun was half Midgardan, why was she brought to Asgard?

"When she became pregnant with you she was overjoyed. I however, was afraid, this was not a common match, I was not sure how much mortal and how much Asgardan you would be. I was selfish and I was more afraid for your mother. When she was in labor with you I almost brought her back here for the healers to help her, but again I was afraid, and selfish. It was a difficult birth, but she was able to see you…before." His voice was shaking and he caressed the back of Sigrun's head softly.

"What then?"

"As I had told you before, I was selfish; when your mother was gone I had refused to see you again for a while. I blamed you, and I blamed myself for getting carried away. Before I left earth I did decide to see you. And you were just as beautiful as she was, I remember her tumbling curtain of brown hair, and you had a thick covering on your head, I couldn't leave you there. But as I had said I didn't know how much mortal or Asgardian you had in you so again there was a risk. I brought you back here and Frigga raised you. She knew of course, but she never said, and she raised you as her own, right along with Thor and Loki, she loved you as if you came from her."

Sigrun remembered being introduced to Thor and Loki when she was small. She remembered Loki peering out from behind Frigga.

"But why-"

"It was then apparent you had more of your father in you than your mother, we kept you apart from them for your own safety."

A stretch of silence settled over them.

"Is that why you don't want Thor and Jane to be together?"

"Thor is a great man and will be a great king, but a hurt like that would break him." Odin said sadly.

"And why you want me to move on as well? Even if he wasn't locked up for the rest of his life?"

"You love just as deeply, as fiercely, and as infinitely as your mother did. And I know because of that it was wrong to push you, but a love like that with Loki will destroy you as well. That is why I am trying to push you to find someone safe, so you will be protected from it."

Sigrun sat in silence. Odin didn't seem inclined to say anymore.

Frigga knew she was Odin's and had raised her anyway, had loved her anyway. She stood up quickly and walked back to the palace without looking at her father.

* * *

><p>She found Frigga on one of the palace balconies, overlooking the city, and her heart swelled. Walking quickly to her, she hugged her hard, which to Sigrun, wasn't hard enough.<p>

Frigga was taken by surprise, laughed and hugged her back. "What is this all about?"

"I love you mother." Sigrun said thickly.

They stood embraced for a moment, and then Frigga held her at arm's length and studied her face with knowing eyes, however shiny at the moment, and pulled her in for another hard hug.

"And I love you too."

* * *

><p>Fandral leaned against the door frame in Sigrun's room.<p>

"You know I should be offended." He said lightly, "That is one thing that has never happened to me."

Sigrun laughed, she had called it.

"I am sorry." She apologized.

"Please, you don't have to. I knew right off that something wasn't right, but I was...uh...excited to say the least."

"If only I wasn't so obvious."

"So what now?"

Her talk with Odin had made her more receptive of the idea. Fandral would love her deeply, she knew that, but if loving him as she had loved Loki, was that even possible?

Maybe she could have something just as good with him.

It was worth a shot.

"Maybe going a bit slower would be good."

"So, it's a yes?"

Sigrun took a deep breath, "Yes."

"Hoorah!" He yelled, jumping with a fist in the air. Sigrun had to laugh at how happy he was.

Calming down slightly, his face became serious, "Shall we shake on it?" Holding out his hand.

"Shake on it?"

"Slow remember?"

The steps she took over to where he stood seemed lighter than before, and a warm tingle spread from where she grasped his hand. And surprised herself when she stood on tip toe and pressed her lips on the warm ones she would be getting to know.

"_Maybe this won't be so bad after all." _She thought.


End file.
